Kitchen Gadgets – 5 Things Every Nerd Needs

Kitchen Gadgets. I tried to gather a list of interesting items, but my god there’s so much crap on the internet to sift through. I didn’t find anything that’s actually useful or interesting so here’s a bunch of crap I found on amazon. These are affiliate links but they don’t work anymore so I don’t get money if you buy this crap. Buy it or don’t I have no fucks to give.

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1. I Cook Meals Periodically Bamboo Cutting Board

A wonderful reference for all the meth your *not* cooking.

kitchen gadgets, A cheesy cutting board with the words I cook meals periodically on it

2. Galaxy Kitchen Knives – Kitchen Gadgets

Nothing tastes better than fucking SPACE BITCHES. All of your meals will automatically be 1000X cooler because you cooked with FUCKING SPACE KNIVES.

kitchen gadgets, a set of knives with space and crap on them

3. Disguise Your Domestic Alcoholism With Cute Wine Stopper – Kitchen Gadgets

We don’t judge. If puns + drinking alone is how you cope with the inherent meaninglessness of life and the harsh reality that we all die alone than have at it! If you’re going to succumb to alcoholism, you might as well have fun with it.

kitchen gadgets, wine stoppers with stuff a facebook wine mom would post on them


Who doesn’t like this delightfully fun Mr. Tea* teapot. Brighten up your day and elicit giggles and weird stares from your guests with this lovely teapot.

kitchen gadgets, a pink tea pot with Mr. Tee on it

5. TriceraTACO Taco Holder!

This dino taco holder is adorable as long as you don’t visualize a gutter Triceratops with its spine gruesomely removed and replaced with a giant taco that now has its shell coated in Triceratops blood and guts. It probably didn’t die quickly. It probably suffered. You monster.

kitchen gadgets, a triceratops taco holder. amazing.

I always get board before I hit word count. This is the least interesting part of running this site. I detest writing articles for you to not read. Life is short and I’m wasting mine doing this. I still can’t believe that fucking tea pot though. It was the only thing on this list that gave me a genuine chuckle.

Did you like this? Want more stupid shit? Check out ‘Cockroach Milk’ Is The Latest Superfood Trend.

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