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1. I Cook Meals Periodically Bamboo Cutting Board

A wonderful reference for all the meth your *not* cooking.

2. Galaxy Kitchen Knives

Nothing tastes better than fucking SPACE BITCHES. All of your meals will automatically be 1000X cooler because you cooked with FUCKING SPACE KNIVES.

3. Disguise Your Domestic Alcoholism With Cute Wine Stoppers

We don’t judge. If puns + drinking alone is how you cope with the inherent meaninglessness of life and the harsh reality that we all die alone than have at it! If you’re going to succumb to alcoholism, you might as well have fun with it.

 

4. I PITY THE FOOL

Who doesn’t like this delightfully fun Mr. Tea* teapot. Brighten up your day and elicit giggles and weird stares from your guests with this lovely teapot.

 

5. TriceraTACO Taco Holder!

This dino taco holder is adorable as long as you don’t visualize a gutter Triceratops with its spine gruesomely removed and replaced with a giant taco that now has its shell coated in Triceratops blood and guts. It probably didn’t die quickly. It probably suffered. You monster.