‘Cockroach Milk’ Is The Latest Superfood Trend

So looks like the latest superfood trend is cockroach milk. I wish I was making this up, but sadly, yall out here bein nasty. Oh and their ot even actually ‘milking’ the cockroaches, the bugs are being crushed up and made into a fucked up smoothie thing.superfood

I first heard of this fucked up fear factor version of almond milk on ABC News but to my disappointment, the name of the study was not mentioned, nor did their article link to any sources; they only claimed that the

“Discovery of the health benefits from the cockroach milk go back as far as two years.”

So, of course, I had to do a little investigating to see who the hell was blending up roaches in a smoothie and trying to sell it as a health food. So after what I thought would be a quick google search of “cockroach milk study” turned into an internet deep dive into the wonderful world of “holy shit” and “why can’t i find the fucking source” I found an amusing site:

A fancy restaurant that serves you bugs.

Also here’s the study published in the Journal of the International Union of Crystallography.

The Term “Superfood” Is Bullshit & News Sites Use It For Clicks

Just to be clear the study does not suggest that you should drink mashed up roaches, it only shows how nutrient dense the crystals these particular roaches produce are.

Nowhere is it suggested that humans should consume the roaches.

Nowhere is it suggested that humans should consume the roaches.

NȫwHerE is it sUgGẾsted that hU𝔐aNs shou𝕝d ⒸoNsỰme ⒯he roǞchEs.

The word Superfood is never used in a scientific study because it’s not fucking scientific. I’m so fucking done with sensationalized “health science” like any dumb ass news outlet or blog picks up on these studies and creates stupid derivative and scientifically inaccurate articles about what you should and shouldn’t be consuming and fucking cockroach milk is just the latest and most absurd example.

Also check out

Mashed Potatoes May Cause Cancer Scientists Say & A new study suggests that shoving hot peppers up your ass might be the next health foods

Where I try to satirize this kind of thing but reality is always stranger than fiction I suppose.

 

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