Who the fuck keeps making Sharknado movies

So Sharknado 6 is coming out on July 25, 2018, and I’ve just been wondering how we as a species, have gotten to this point. Let’s recap a little here;

The First Sharknado Movie

This came out in November of 2013 and was given the appropriate rating of 3.3/10 on IMDB. This masterful clusterfuck of a movie was written and directed by a man named . . .  Thunder Levin (i refuse to believe that that’s his real name), a 68 year old man from New York City. Though I can respect the fact that this movie, much like the website you’re reading this article on, was created solely on the premise of “Can I make this terrible thing and still make money off of it?”.

Sharknado

Five More Fucking Movies

The makers of Sharknado clearly want to milk this thing for everything it’s worth. Now we’ve got:

  • Sharknoolde 2, the second one
  • Sharknintendo 3, Oh Hell NO
  • Sharknado: The 4th Awakens (are you fucking kidding me)
  • Sharkadoo 5: Global Swarming
  • Sharkcyclone 6

Why. What did we do to anger the gods.

There is no point to this article

Except to highlight the fact that there are too many of these stupid ass movies, while simultaneously giving them more press which encourages them to make more, but also I don’t care because I’m monetizing this content anyway.

Every Day I Stray Further From The Light

I’ll write about anything that gets me clicks. Even something as pointless as 6 movies about fucking sharks in tornados. I’m hungry and cold, and i need the ad money. I hate these fucking movies and I hate writing about them. God damn it. I need a better way to make money.

 

For more bullshit by me, check out: 

Todays Topic: Death. Everything And Everyone You’ve Ever Loved Or Ever Will Love Dies

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