Is Scientology Real? Hot Take From Someone Who Knows Nothing About Scientology

Hey fuck face. Is scientology real? Fuck if I know. (i do)

I’m about to answer all of your burning questions bout wether or not scientology is real. And if you’ve never wondered in-depth about this, well, me neither. I’m writing this because I need to troll a bit and here’s your obligatory SéO Is scientology real? Here’s a link to their official website.

So, as I’m familiar, the premise of this punchline of a religion is that a long time ago aliens came to Earth and jizzed in a volcano. Then the volcano got pregnant and gave birth to humans or something like that. I also remember something about it being based on a sci-fi novel that’s fanbase got out of control and started a religion.

They also believe in some sort of magic powers that they measure with a mystery machine. They also charge you lots of money for reasons you only get to know once you’ve given them a lot of money.

is scientology real

I know Angelina Jole was in it for a while, I’m not even going to verify that because I didn’t exactly start this site on a foundation of journalistic integrity and I’m not about to start putting in the effort now. Or ever probs.

So my hot take is that it’s not real, nothing matters and if you happen to be a scientologist who’s reading this, YOUR IN A CULT WAKE UP SHEEPLE.

I really don’t know shit about is scientology real and I don’t really care about learning I just wanted to roast scientology for a minute. I mean it’s hilarious to start a religion based on a sci-fi novel. I mean, what kind of mental gymnastics do you need to preform to get a full grown adult to suspend disbelief hard enough to devote themselves to a book that was verifiably just written by some dude in the modern era. I mean that book was written within the last 100 years. IDK if the copyright on that shit is even expired.

Is it really that easy to start a cult? Where can I get some minions? I’ve written a bunch of bullshit, how do I also get in on this?

Anyway . .. Here’s a post about eating uranium. Enjoy.

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2 thoughts on “Is Scientology Real? Hot Take From Someone Who Knows Nothing About Scientology

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